Rollercoasters

When studying fiction, characters are revealed by a number of factors:
+Symbols
+actions
+What the character says about himself
+What other characters say about him

I am not alone in the quest of "finding myself." I believe it is something that we all have to do at one point or another. Me being a literary person, I often soul search by using these literary tools.

I believe my symbol is the rollercoaster. When I was young, I loved going to amusement parks (btw: I still love going to amusement parks.) I enjoy the most thrilling rides. The ones with the loop-de-loops, the towers that drop from hundreds of feet, the ones that flip you upside down and run backwards. The ones where you are on such a steep drop, you can't see what's waiting for you when they pull the lever. In other words: Anything scary and thrilling. The ones where you must face the "unknown." Tellingly, the "safe" rides make me sick. Don't put me on the swings, or the teacups....I will likely throw up.

In decoding the puzzle that is "self" I can't help but parallel this need for thrilling rides with need for a thrilling life. I need to know that I will be inched up at a slow and steady pace, before getting a bird's eye view of what's below me, and then dropped with sudden speed, without notice. I need to be sent through loop-de-loops, places where I don't know what is up from down. I need to be at the top of a U shaped drop, sitting on a mat, not knowing what I'm in for because I can't see what's ahead for me.

Of course eventually, I will get off the ride complete with exhilaration. Did I mention that I go to amusement parks with my best friends? Because when I get off, we laugh until our stomachs hurt. Because we know we just had the time of our lives.
I'm going to California at the end of January. I can't wait.